“We accept the love we think we deserve.” -Stephen Chbosky

PART 1: Recently, I caught up with a friend who informed me of some things she and another friend of ours had been facing. With respect to her identity, I will call her for the sake of this article, ‘Casey’.

I met Casey my freshman year of college in Sweetly Wheatley residential hall. She has always been a sweetheart for as long as I could remember but like everyone, she has a weakness. Her weakness like many people, is attention. Now, when I say attention, I don’t mean the “Hey look at me!”, kind. I’m referring to the attention that makes her feel loved and wanted.

She has been spending some time with a guy (let’s call him Terry)  for a couple of months and he has shown her the attention that she so craves. She’s been so consumed by it that she’s missed the signs that he may not be ‘the one’… or at least not good enough for her.

You see, he would continuously borrow money from her and not pay her back. However, she overlooked this because he showered her with what seemed to be ‘love and affection‘. She realized he wasn’t true to the things he would say to her after she took a visit to his apartment, which he shares with four roommates. While there, a friend who stays at the apartment from time to time, performed some obscene acts in her presence and caused her to feel extremely uncomfortable. She told Terry about what occurred during his absence. To her astonishment, he showed no sense of guilt or remorse towards her. Although it was never confirmed or denied, it is believed by those who have heard the story, that Terry set Casey up for that to happen.

She was blinded by everything she thought was right about him that she failed to see everything that was wrong with him. Casey isn’t the first person this has happened to and she certainly won’t be the last. But, learn from her story. Don’t be so caught up in what you want to see in a person, that you miss all of the red flags waving right before your eyes.

[Part 2 coming Tuesday]