The love you deserve? [Part 2]

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” –Stephen Chbosky

Part 2: If you’ve read the previous post, then you are familiar with my friend ‘Casey’. If you haven’t read the post, I suggest that you do so that this article won’t be confusing to you.

Casey and I have another friend named ‘Ashley’. We met Ashley through a class that all freshman are required to take at our university. Ashley was quiet and very withdrawn from the class at times. I blamed it on, for lack of a better word, her shyness. However, as time passed and we became closer, I realized that she wasn’t shy by a long shot. She was always smiling, laughing, and joking with anyone she knew and even those that she didn’t know if they were around long enough for her to feel comfortable.

While Casey updated me about what she’d been going through with ‘Terry’, she caught me up on Ashley’s situation also. Casey informed me that Ashley had actually been dating someone who was abusing her; both mentally and physically. She defended him in the beginning, which is normal in any situation like this. It wasn’t until she told Casey about his abuse that she realized that it wasn’t right. So the next time that they had an argument in which he raised his hand to her, she called the police. They came and took him away and she hasn’t been in contact with him since.

After Casey gave me the run down, an imaginary light bulb lit over the top of my head. All of the signs were there! Ashley, in a matter of months went from a joy filled person I once knew and reverted back to the removed person I met freshman year. Her laughter was virtually nonexistent and she wouldn’t hang out with us as much as she used to. Now that I think about it, whenever I asked her about hanging out on weekends, her response was often “I have something to do with my boyfriend”. I never paid much thought to any of these occurrences… But I wish I would have.

First and foremost, it is never satisfactory to be abused by anyone; Nor is it any better for you to abuse someone. Abuse is not love, and if anyone tells you differently, they are WRONG. If you are being abused by someone whether it be mental, physical, or emotional, leave them. If you know anyone that is being abused, help them, and even if they don’t seem receptive of your help, stay there and don’t give up. 

 National Domestic Violence Website:  

Part 3 (Final) coming Thursday

From me to you, love.

Shaakira White

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