“It’s in times of sorrow and grief that we cling to those we hold the dearest.”
I have a confession to make… I lied to you. If you’ve kept up with the blog then you may recall the very first post I wrote that talked about my cousin Ken. If you haven’t read it, here is the link. (http://queentoqueens.com/2014/06/05/2/) In the post I discussed how I learned the true importance of telling my loved ones that I love them… or at least I thought I did.
On September 11th, one of my uncles passed and although I played it cool when my mother told me, inside my heart shattered. I went to the park that night and sat for about an hour trying to wrap my mind around this piece of unwanted news. As cars passed and people jogged by, I felt angry. Here I was suffering silently, and the world around me just kept going. I kept myself busy during the days leading up to the funeral to avoid the nagging feeling deep down. But when Friday came, I couldn’t avoid it any longer; it was time to say our goodbyes.
As I stood by him, I couldn’t help but think about how many times I’d been in that same funeral home for other family members. Each time I’ve always wished I’d have done more. What if I would have called? What if I wouldn’t have been too busy to visit? What if? I’ll never truly know the answers to those questions, and it may bother me for a long time. But, I just hope this isn’t a lesson that I have to be taught again; to love my family with every fiber of my being. I want to give them all that I have to give while I can, because eventually all of our names will be called, and I don’t want to stand in the same place wishing I’d have done more.