Requested: Sex Before Marriage (A Man’s View)

Now that we’ve explored the opinions of women about sex before marriage, it’s imperative that we review a man’s perspective. I think it’s always best to see different sides of a story or topic because it may change the way you view things. Being that we aren’t men, we don’t always think like they do. It seems as if women and men are on two extremely different sides of the universe at times. So, like the last post, I asked a guy a few questions about the topic and interestingly enough, his answers were not what I expected:

Question: How do you feel about sex before marriage?

Answer: “Personally I feel you should ‘wait’, I wish I had and at times feel disappointed that I didn’t and now I can’t stop thinking about a person that I will never be with again in my life. Sex can sometime create connections that may last forever, and it’s beautiful in marriage but troublesome in other instances.”

Question: Do you wish you would have saved that connection for your wife?

Answer: “Yeah, now I feel like I could never marry a virgin because I’m not a complete whole myself and that they’d always feel a certain way about me… In other words it’s hard to date a virgin when they feel a bit of inferiority because they haven’t been with you while others have.” 

Question: So if you were dating a virgin, you would wait until y’all were married if that’s what she wanted to do? Without cheating on her?

Answer: “Of course, I believe if you cheat you simply don’t want the person enough in the first place and probably shouldn’t be with them.”

Due to the images on television, social media, and even in song lyrics, I’ve felt that men were not capable of understanding the waiting before marriage concept. However, after that little interview, I left with a completely different understanding. Men’s views are not entirely different from the way women viewed having sex before marriage. If anything, the men felt more so like they should have waited until they were married than the women I interviewed felt. As you may recall, the concern of the women from the last post mainly came from the person that they’d lost their virginity to and not necessarily the act of having sex as a whole.  They felt that waiting until marriage was not for them.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that not all men and women have these views. I recently went to an event where a question arose, “What can girl’s do because men aren’t checking for virgins anymore but they don’t want loose girls either..” I was slightly offended by the question at first but after thinking about it, I realized that it had some truth to it. It seems as though some men are afraid of virgins. Why? I’m not sure. But, what I want you to take away from this post is that, if you are thinking about having sex with someone in order to keep them or satisfy them, remember that not all men have a notion that sex is a requirement. Some even wish that they themselves would have waited so that they could be a better mate for their future wives.

What do you think? Part 3 will be up this Sunday.

From Me to You, Love.


Shaakira White

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